Facebook and dating: TMI (too much info)?

Facebook and dating: TMI (too much info)?

Dec 27 2011 at 02:59
Facebook and dating: TMI (too much info)?

Have you noticed a trend in recent years? Friends on Facebook have a habit of over-posting about their lives, and this includes sharing details about their relationships. People usually announce when a new relationship has formed, a phenomenon that has become so popular that it has its own saying: ‘It isn’t official until it is Facebook official.’ There is nothing wrong with going public as a couple, but here at DivineIntro, we think things get a little more complicated when individuals share rather personal details about their relationship for hundreds of friends to see. It is a tad indiscreet, and can be terribly embarrassing if you are Facebook friends with people at work or with your pastor.

Because there are two people in every relationship, one person may find that while they prefer to be less vocal about their love life, the other person tends to shout everything from the mountaintop. This is why we feel it is important to discuss how much you want to share online once you become a couple. Because if you do not set some boundaries, it may cause friction when you get home after a nice date together, log in to your Facebook account, and find that your boyfriend or girlfriend was updating their status during the date with things like: ‘Just had a romantic dinner with (your name) at (name of restaurant).’ After all, some people might not like to have their workmates asking them, ‘Oh, by the way, how was your meal at (restaurant name) last night? I saw that you were there last night around 8pm with some person named (date’s name). Sounds like you two had fun.’ Ugh, awkward!

In more extreme examples, people also post things when the relationship hits a tough spot like after an argument. That is not the kind of thing most people want announced to every random person on a ‘friends’ list, but it happens every day. Other people may hold back details, but still post things like “Some people can be so full of themselves” or “I don’t understand how someone I love so much can’t seem to remember my birthday.” Of course, our feeling is that many of these posts are made in the heat of the moment, but sharing too much information on a public forum is rarely a wise relationship move.

As Christians, we should ensure that we are honouring God in all we do, and that means going to Him first when we want to talk about a difficulty in our relationship. If there is a problem, it is far better to talk things out with God and your mate rather than publishing something you may regret later.

The same thing applies to sharing good things too. Just because things are wonderful and you are head-over-heels in love with each other does not mean that you need to gush about it every five minutes with posts like: ‘I love u so much, u r my angel and my life is nothing without u!!!!!’ Trust us, your friends do not want to be confronted with this every time they scan your status updates...aside from sounding like you worship the other person, it is just tacky and makes you sound desperate. Praise God instead for His goodness in bringing you two together, thank Him for giving you the courage to try a Christian dating site like DivineIntro, and give Him the glory for everything that is good in your life. If it is a testimony that you are both happy to make public, then fine, share your happiness for what the Lord has done by bringing you two together, but just make sure you aren’t sharing so much that it makes other people blush.

We don’t think this is too harsh, do you? Just to be clear, there is nothing wrong with stating that you are ‘in a relationship’ in your FB status, but just as most of us wouldn’t post things about our boss or people at work, it would probably be better if we were just a bit more cautious concerning the fine points of our relationships on Facebook. This may be a good topic for Christians to discuss with the person they are dating, but please, feel free to keep the details of that conversation between yourselves and the Lord.


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